To this act of class on my left. Happy birthday, bro.
You are the person I try so hard to emulate, but I know I can’t and never will be able to. You make obvious all the things that I lack and fall short to be. You are what a son should be. You are what a brother should be. You are what a friend should be. You at such a young age exuded the characteristics of what a man should be. You were unselfish. You were never afraid to speak your mind or express how you felt. You were genuine in how you cared for people.. and not just those you knew. You were a picture of practiced diligence, patience, and hard work. You were a pitcher full of talent and skill. You were a blessing beyond what I can express, and you were blessed just the same. I’m not you. I can never be you.
It also pains me that it was when we were starting to really develop our relationship as brothers and friends that you were taken home to be with our Lord. I’m not in the least bit surprised. With a personality such as yours, I’d waste no time trying to get in your company. I still remember what I told Dad that night you passed away. He asked why you, and why then. And all I could muster up from my then innocent brain was, “Maybe God wanted to spend Christmas with him.” In a subtle yet loud imagery of childlike faith, I understood better back then such things that I wrestle with and question now.
I’m sorry for all the times I wasn’t up to par when it came to being a brother and friend, not just to you but also to Gian. I’m sorry that I can’t seem to make our parents proud as you did. Hopefully our youngest brother will have more success with that than I. I’m sorry that I’m not living life to the fullest of my potential; something that you did very capably and exceptionally well in the 10 years that you honored us with your presence and accompaniment. I’m sorry that I keep making the same mistakes. Oftentimes I wish you were around to whack me upside the head and remind me of how I should carry myself.
As painful and uncomfortable it is to admit, multiple times I’d wished that I was the one instead. Thinking that the world and the people in our everyday lives would benefit from your existence. (½)